Current Holdings

My list of current holdings is limited at the current time. My lack of confidence in the markets has led me to hoard my cash until something horrible happens thus 60% of my portfolio is cash.

Current Holdings:

C : Looking to hold long term
FXP : Small term trade, looking to unload this week (hopefully)
DXO : Mid term trade
JSDA : Speculative pick
XOM: Shot selling this bad boy

Some might be wondering why I am long DXO while shorting XOM. Does this make any sense? Well, I am hoping for some form of international conflict to cause a hike in oil prices in the near future, things seem to be tense in the Middle East and this could lend to my advantage. Furthermore, I susceptive OPEC won't let oil prices dip to much because WHO THE FUCK LIKES TO LOSE MONEY? They might as well shut down production for a couple of months rather than lose money to filthy Americans!